Pictures

Never thought that i would take this long to write (or rather to type) again. A lot of things happened. A lot of things are happening. A lot of things will happen.

This year, I am officially 30 years old, and I am still not married but I already have more than a hundred kids, ranging from 13 to 18 years old. Most of them call me 'Ustazah', 'Cikgu' or 'Teacher'. But a few bolder ones even start calling me 'Ummi' or 'Mak'. This reminds me of my previous plan to lead my life.

When I was still studying in matriculation center, I have this strong desire to be a successful lawyer and in order to achieve that, I need to stay away from marriage. I believe that it would slow me down, or worse, be the cause to stop me from achieving my dream. However, I love kids. So, I began to picture myself in 10 years time (exactly the age I am now!) to be a successful lawyer, having my own house and my own car, living with my parents, and adopting a couple of babies as my own. But the picture started to shatter down in my final year of studying. It was when my mother suddenly passed away. I realized then that even if I became what I wanted to be, I could never put my mother in the picture.

Today, I am a teacher, living in a government house, over one thousand kilometers away from home and family. I do not have my own car but I have a kind housemate who is willing to drive me anywhere I need to go. I do not officially adopt any kids but I always regard my students as my own. My mother's death gave me another picture. I was too confident of myself that I forgot that there is another ultimate power that could change my plan. I learned my lesson and now its my turn to teach others whatever I have learned. Nevertheless, the plan is somehow there, don't you think? I dreamed of being happy with my own family, friends and kids. And you know what? I have already achieved that! Although the plan seems a little bit off but the essence is still there. All praises to Allah who answered my prayer!